Passion

How many of us are lucky enough to actually love the job that we are doing? I used to love..maybe the love word is too strong, but I used to like my current job, at least I have the passion or the little fire burning inside. But all that had slowly disappear during the last few months and totally vanished after today. My passion for work has gone, zero, in fact has dipped below zero-negative. I cant recall how many times I had been upset over this, teared over this and finally it all gone today.

This is not exactly my choice of career. Maybe to some, a job is just to support the family, and to survive but to me, I need that passion in everything I do. I always wonder what if I had listened to my heart 10 years ago and chosen design over numbers crunching or what if I managed to get into medical school as I was a straight A student back then. I always wanted to be a heart surgeon and fly to those African countries and become a volunteer over there.

I no longer know what motivates me to work everyday, even money is not the motivation anymore. If I ever have my own children next time, I would definitely encourage them to follow their dreams even if he/she is a straight A student and wanted to study music.

So, what is my dream now? I do not know but someday, I hope I can follow my heart and pursue my passion to become a designer/artist/photographer.