Jan 2, 2013

2012 in Review

2012 has passed, I wouldn't use the word flew by as I was struggling from the beginning till the end of the year. A lot of people say, dragon year will be a good year for prosperity and wealth, well at least for me it wasn't. There are many ups and downs throughout 2012, which probably the only good one is me being married.

Career wise, looking back at 2012, the year started off rather badly as I totally lost motivation for work or career advancement in my department. Got a very bad review for my first leading assignment and not forgetting my report was being photocopied as case study to every manager in the department. And because of that, my career took a huge plunge from the high flyer to the low profile. I thought I had a second chance when I almost nailed the transfer. Again, the opportunity was lost, not because I didn't do well but somehow somewhere someone intervene. As at 2013, I would not say I hate my job, but it's almost close to hatred and I have lost respect for what I do. I am no longer an auditor but a fault finder.

Love and relationship wise, 2012 is probably the best as I am married but it also signify a huge transition for me.  I am happy to have found and marry him and I know I married a good man. I know he can give me comfort, security and love but somehow in the tiny corner of my heart, I miss being single. I miss the freedom I used to have, the rush of excitement to just jet off to some foreign country for the weekend but above the rest I miss my dream house, my condo. I know to make a marriage works, it takes a lot of effort and I am trying my very best to be a good wife, daughter and daughter-in-law. And please, do not ask me when I am going to have kids. I just had my wedding barely two months and everyone asking me that. Please give me a break. I can't barely breathe or have enough sleep these days.

Emotions wise, it's probably one of the worst. It feels like my emotions are forever in a roller coaster ride, from being excited of being proposed to depression. Yes, as much as I didn't want to admit it, I had quite a severe depression during the middle of the year. I cried almost everyday for 2 months and had to use tonnes of concealer to conceal my swollen eyes. Not because of wedding preparation but other stuff that I didn't want to disclose here. Even at one point of time I contemplate of just crashing my car into the divider so that I can stay in hospital and not depressed over all these. I don't know how I get through these times, but luckily I didn't crash my car or else there will be a huge hole in my pocket now. 

On a happy note, I managed to travel quite a bit this year, to New York, Puerto Rico and Bali for honeymoon and not forgetting conquering Mount Kinabalu. Ran another 10km during the Adidas King of the Road. I guess much of the things that make me happy are through travelling, photography and running.

So what's in store for 2013?
I am longing for an adventure in Mongolia and more travel and photography opportunities but at the moment, I am just craving for more sleep and no housework. 


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